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Emotional Break-through!

I have heard of people who can feel in their body the exact moment when they start to feel upset or angry. For me, I have always been a lose cannon with a short fuse. No matter the situation, I would get upset at some point in the interaction. A therapist once told me that she can feel herself becoming worked up in her wrists and forearms. I never believed her, until now.

Ten minutes ago, I experienced a curt refusal from my boss. It was not personal nor inappropriate, just curt enough to go through my thin skin. I can feel sensation in my face and my fingers. The very tips of my fingers and the palms of my hands seem to move under my skin. Like there's too much blood in one area creating a river. My face is a little different. While I still feel the river under my skin, I also get a sensation of pressure right behind my eyes.

Upon realizing this, I am beginning to calm down and reflect, using soothing meditation techniques focusing on my breath and observing how my body feels. Consciously, I need to relax my shoulders and unfurrow my brows. Letting go of emotional discomfort that doesn't serve me is one of my biggest challenges as a "normal, functioning person."

I remind myself that it isn't personal and therefore shouldn't bother me or cause me distress. With meditation I am working on growing a thicker skin to prevent myself from snapping in two.

I want to be confident.

Beyond Pickup - Have Your Cake and Eat it Too?

On The Tiny Octopus

What started out as my exploration of an age-old question: whether total nerds have a chance at snagging highly desired women ripples into a topic that permeates into a thorough exploration of everything regarding the enigma we call 'love' and how it may not be as magical as we first deem it to be.

Reupdate: 3/14/13 Didn't really mean to update on Valentine's Day but there we go. I rescind my 51/49 soul/body split I mentioned in the 3/13 update after responding to Zach's post on Sebastian Marshall's blog http://sebastianmarshall.com/dont-underestimate-biochemistry. I now believe it is a dynamic split that changes based on situation.

Update: 3/13/13 In yet another update of this post's evolution the original question has been staked in the heart by Tynan's latest post Not that kind of person. I am now more convinced than ever that there are no 'pre-sets' in life and the only barriers we put up are the ones of our own making. Not everyone starts on even-footing and some have advantages over others but in the long run for most things we are self-defined. For the longest time I've tackled a deeper philosophical question - is the body a victim of biological processes or are biological processes controlled by the body? (ie can we use willpower alone to induce biological change) Are human personalities just a sum of biochemical reactions or is the human persona a product of the 'soul'? I now believe that we have a lot more power than we give ourselves credit for and even though our bodies and higher aspects (mind/soul) may often conflict with one another ultimately the higher aspects are in control.

Admittedly hormones and such play a big role in our day to day feel/function and have enough weight to throw us off course . Starting out I think we may be a 51/49 split of mind over matter but with self discipline and proper care of the human vessel in my experience that ratio only goes up to pass more control to the higher self.

Update: 9/6/12 Figure I'd clean this up and add in a shortcut to help anyone trapped in the loop of pining for women - most of what is considered "love" doesn't exist just sex. Read the end of this post for the explanation why. Otherwise original post below...

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