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I'm nice

On Shut Up and Take My Hand

I'm nice. I'm socially 'nice'.

So in the society we live in, there are loads of little things, little lies that are viewed as being 'nice'. Lets start with really simple things - being polite. 'Could you please...?' 'Thank you' 'Would you mind if...?' Everyone should be polite to everyone else, whether or not you respect them its like the social interaction 0 state. You're polite to the people you tolerate, nasty to the people you hate and sweet to the people you like. Well, mostly.

And there's different ranges of politeness, for example, you're expected to be more polite to people who are older than you or of a higher status than you. Though I wouldn't say I agree with being polite to older people just cuz they're older, I do agree with being more polite - more respectful to the people of higher 'status' than you. Be that teachers, leaders, the glorious person who brings you your food at restaurants :p

Next point is about conversation. Most of the people that I interact on a daily basis talk about a certain range of things. So the guys I talk with mostly talk with me about girls/working out/music and the girls I talk to mostly talk with me about school/home/music/anime+manga. But then there are those few people that I talk to about shit I honestly don't give a fuck about: clothes/boys/youtubers

So if it doesn't interest me, why do I still talk with them about it? Well cuz I'm 'nice'. Its expected of you to show interest in the daily/personal life of the person you are conversing with: 'How was your day?' 'Do you like~~?' yep, you know what I mean. Small talk. Or more so, they get all into it: 'OMG he's so cute!! He talked to me today omg omg omg!!! and you're just there like: Mhm that's great...

So it took this long

On Shut Up and Take My Hand

but finally I'm getting somewhere with my stupid therapist. Now don't get me wrong I still abhor her and I don't see it as helping me with my depression at all but hey at least I can say that to some extent these sessions are becoming more liveable.

I hate going to the sessions for two (or more) reasons. I hate talking about my emotions. Especially to someone I don't like and don't trust. And I hate the fact that its so *open* - as in, if she things its of importance, she can tell my parents or school or whatever. And ok *insert legal shit here* but eeeh. Its uncomfortable for me.

Anyways, after todays session and months and months of other sessions, it finally feels like we're getting somewhere in our doctor-patient relationship. She's finally caught on to the fact I don't like and don't trust her (slow much?) and after a conversation today, she's now "taking steps" to improving the way I view her. Which wont happen. But still.

In all honesty, I don't actually see much point in this therapy thing, other than it gets people off my back. Like my parents and the teachers at school, I guess its just a price to pay to get them to shut up for a few minutes. Only a few minutes though.

So these past few sessions, instead of just talking about depression and emotions and shit, we've started talking about random things I like. For example drawing. I showed her a few of my drawings and we talked about that for a bit and anime as well. Which wasn't all too bad, but me being paranoid and guarded, I couldn't help but be constantly thinking "so what's all this for then?"

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