American [no longer] In Korea

The New Jersey of Asia


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Just Three Guys And We're Having a Good Time / What's a Night Club?

A month before I left Illinois for Korea, there was this girl in my salsa class that I wanted to get to know. A few days later I knew her, and as it turns out, she grew up in Busan. I hung out with her a lot during my last week in America, and she told her best friend/ex about me. She said he was really interested in meeting me once I got to Busan, saying how he's a super nice person. I chatted with him a few times on Skype, and he was just. This Friday I invited him and his boy to get dinner with a big group of GETs (Guest English Teachers) in Deokchon.

Our group met and the plan was to eat at this Italian restaurant that someone said was pretty delicious. When we got upstairs I was immediately unimpressed by the decor which looked like a purple doll house, and smelled like a purple doll house. There were even pillows on the seats. Imagine twenty foreigners packed into this gaytalian doll house and yeah, that's when I decided that I would not be eating with them. I went back to wait for the Ex and his friend as well as Brett who was coming all the way from Hadan. When the Koreans arrived, Ex introduced himself as Joe, and his buddy as Jeon. They spoke the best English I've heard out of any Korean so far. Fluent enough to fuck around with, plus they looked like jokers from the very beginning.

Jeon and Joe, being seniors at PNU had no reason to ever be in Deokchon. So we wondered around for a while until we decided on Okkudak, a famous baked chicken joint next to a famous fried chicken joint. Damn near died and went to heaven. Joe and Jeon were so interested in getting to know me. Of course they started with the obligatory Korean questions, "How old are you? Where are you from?" I haven't gotten the blood type question yet, but pretty much everyone in Korea and Japan knows their blood type. It's kind of like astrology to them. To make sure I understood their culture, they told me that as my seniors, they would buy this meal, and that I would get first round at the bar. Going Dutch is more popular in Seoul, but Busan is a friendlier city so they pay like this.

We finished the chicken and went to Wa Bar, a beer garden.

Jeon was the bigger ball-buster of the two for sure. He floored me with this fucking story:

How a Korean Teacher Gets Fired

On The Best of Sett

I have the displeasure of working 'with' this piece of shit ajeosshi. He doesn't have the stereotypical slant eyes, balding hair, wrinkled skin, dead tooth, and despite being blessed with all the properties of a normal human, he still manages to be one of the most repulsive organisms I have ever seen. When he showed up late and then left our class, I was fucking pissed, but I realize that his absence is a blessing now. I am as grateful for it as I am for the rise of the sun and the statute of limitations.

The school knows how much he sucks so they've had him teaching music for the last two years to a class that's 50% mentally retarded. It's their idea of damage control, akin to the USSR pouring concrete over Chernobyl, and it's not a bad one. Retards don't have a chance in this society.

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