American [no longer] In Korea

The New Jersey of Asia

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Who's Replacing Me?

The rural regions of Korea were thought to be insulated from the massive downsizing of the ESL teaching force, but this is not the case. The majority of the teachers in my town are leaving as the EPIK cuts continue to roll out. Yesterday, I had a conversation with my only Korean friend in town about these changes.

My friend, is quite the character. A portly man with slicked hair and a slicker suit rarely seen without booze or smoke in his large fists. He owns a couple of tiny hagwons in Daegu, but his main profession is politics. He tells me that after investing a large amount of money into bribing the right ajeosshis, his virtual learning company has secured a contract the provincial Ministry of Education. His Filipina employees are far better English-speakers than Korean teachers, much cheaper than Native teachers, and swallow much more Korean cum than both combined. I congratulated Carl on getting the contract as we ate pig intestine soup and talked about his favorite sport; cheating on his fiance. Apparently all it takes to bribe your way into a contract in Korea is some cheap booze and a couple of hours with some Krygyztani hookers and maybe a "business trip" to Boracay.

I don't know what's going on in other provinces, but if you were wondering what's happening around my parts, our jobs have been outsourced to the Philippines.

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