American [no longer] In Korea

The New Jersey of Asia

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The Worst Class

I don't like teaching 4th and 5th grade. They've grown on me this past week, but it's never been that great. The 5th grade boys are obnoxious dicks, these three fat kids in particular get on my nerves. The worst student I have by far is also the ugliest. He's a 5th grader that doesn't do anything right, disobeys my coteacher, has no friends, and is getting into fights all the time. This kid's life blows, but that's not special, a lot of Korean kids live shitty lives. He's always kneeling in his seat, and when my CT tells him to sit properly, he just ignores it. I've seen her slap him in the back multiple times before he settles down. Nobody likes this kid, and the only explanation I got fro my coteacher is that he's raised by a single father who doesn't give a fuck. She suspects he may have mild autism. If he does, it's the most mild autism I've ever seen. At least he's not too disruptive.

The worst class I have though, is the last class I teach in the week. After a long day of teaching, the caffeine starts to wear off, and I start doing weird shit to stay awake. My mind just wanders. Today I spaced out, put my hands in my back pockets and admired the shape of my own ass. I tried to rank the nine varieties of Pepperidge farm cookies we have in our office. I started singing this  song in my head.

Come time for the last class, my CT just totally phones it in. Our lessons are unmotivated, directionless, really they're downright incoherent compared to the Thursday 4th grade lessons which still aren't that great. We never start the class start on time, ever. I'm talking like 8 minutes late. It doesn't even look or feel like a full class, more like the leftovers from 4th grade.

Nobody else is gonna say this so I'll say it: It doesn't help that they aren't as cute as the other classes as a whole. Nobody is particularly enthusiastic, extroverted, or quirky. I'm sure a lot of you teachers out there are disgusted, and think “You're a terrible teacher if you teach differently based on how cute your kids are.” Yeah you might think the way your kids look doesn't affect how you teach them, just cause that sounds really shitty. Trust me, subconsciously, it does.

It's scary right? How much of your development as a child depended on things like whether or not your teacher had his coffee in the morning. Did he eat a proper breakfast or wake up ten minutes before work? Is he getting laid regularly, or is jacking off into the sink the most romance he's had in the last three months? Depending on the answers to these questions, your kid could grow up to be a bilingual entrepeneur or the sick fuck drilling glory holes into bathroom stalls. Or even worse, a public sector employee who squandered the college fund on a degree in “Communications”.

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