American [no longer] In Korea

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OKCupid Chronicles: The Other Side

What can you expect out of OKCupid in Korea as a woman? From what I've observed, the female OKC experience goes like this:

You put a lot of time making your profile sound interesting but aloof enough to imply that you're only looking for some attention to validate you, not an actual human connection (because you're smart, sexy, and above online dating). If you're straight, all your answers are honest except for body type, because your subconscious knows that that's a deal breaker for any man worth his salt.

First come the Indians. Unintelligible messages from troglodytic hair-beasts asking you to sex or marry them from thousands of miles away. This is novel at first, until the too-old-for-that-tan losers message you, along with the Will Clearly Fuck Anything That Moves guys. After about a week, you change the answers to the sex questions to make yourself seem less easy.

If you can weather the onslaught of the horde of Indian men who subsist on rape like a barnacle on plankton, in time you might meet someone like the charmer below, who accounts for not one, but two horror stories in the Korea expat dating scene. Enjoy!

Names have been changed to protect the identities of girls who let me touch their vaginae. Both girls are directing the messages to me, and edited for redundancy.

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