is like raping a hooker in a port o potty. Technically you're getting laid but you're still encased in a shitty, poorly insulated plastic box, bathing in the smell of digested food, and what awful lengths you had to go through to get there.
Looking back on this blog makes me laugh. A constant barrage of observational filth (the eye is stained by what it sees) interspersed by my snapshots of my happiest times ( food,sex, exploring myself basically). I don't know if this is some backwards rationalization, ego-defense-mechanism, but when I think about the last two years, I mostly remember the good stuff. The bad stuff I remember too, but my mind relabels them as merely funny.
I moved from the most desirable-to-live city in Korea to a farm town that a lot of Koreans don't even know exist. It could have gone really bad, but it didn't. Part of this is because I got really, really good at snatching snatch without a wingman out of necessity. Part of this is also because I got a huge raise with a huge decrease in job stress. But the biggest part of this was because of my attitude. Of course I did a lot of venting which turned into mad rants, maybe more than most. But only when the pressure valve needed release- when other sources of negativity started to infect me, I bolted. I'm not saying that people here don't have reason to complain- I'm saying whether or not they're justified is moot, either way it feeds itself and wasn't doing me any good.
How did I get through a year in the Korean country side without blowing my brains out? I think most people medicate with drugs and alcohol. One young Brit guy in my hood was caught with an impressive smorgasbord of psychedelics and made headlines. Another Canadian man who'd been at the same school for 9 years drank his way into rehab, and did not. Both are now in their respective countries, one facing a legal battle, the other in rehab. I'm not one to judge people for their vices, but this country is an awful place for either vice. Drugs are scarce and expensive ($100 for 1 pill of E), and Korean alcohol? Let's just say that buying me a Cass will triple your chances of me pressing charges after you date rape me.
I'll never get outta this world alive...
As far as sex goes, it wasn't so much the act, but the pursuit. The dice is loaded against you regardless of your preference, but at least I maximized the chances of having at least average (consensual) sex.
1. No Koreans
2. Absolutely no Koreans
3. If you are approached by a Korean, do as you would do with a fresh dog turd and step around it. Don't touch it, don't insult it, certainly don't go down on it, just continue on your business. This is how I preserve intercultural harmony.
Still, if it wasn't dicey it wouldn't be fun. And when I was just looking for fun, I found friends instead. I made some friends, lost some others, and all of it, the ups and the downs, kept me sane in my little apartment. I won't say the number of confirmed kills, but it was more than last year.
Oh yeah, and also I play a shitload of Civilization V: Gods and Kings. I usually go Japan and if Korea isn't enslaved or a penal colony by turn 200, I consider it a loss and start a new game.
In a few months I'll have my teaching license. I will put Korea behind me, and teaching ESL (in my current sub-professional capacity) beneath me. I'll be teaching physics, a topic that challenges and therefore interests me, and that I'm actually qualified to teach, according to the proud state of Florida's famously successful public education system. Either that, or I'll get a real job.*
Two years of pension, my exit allowance, severance pay, plus that extra $1,300 from EPIK last year (welcome to take me to court, apes) adds up to about ten grand, a nice parachute to help me with whatever comes next. Thanks, Korean government, you're the best!
*I'm kidding, chill. Teachers are sooooo undervalued in our society. Now wipe them tears with a Kleenex you can't afford, or just use your liberal arts diploma.