American [no longer] In Korea

The New Jersey of Asia

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Lost in Translaysh / Chupa Chups

A while back I met this Korean woman while dancing, I think she was 28 or 29. We had a few beers together, and I thought she was pretty cool, if not desperately horny in the "I'm acutely aware of my age and lack of options" way.

We stopped being friends last night when she uploaded a picture of a Costco bag of Tootsie Pops and wrote "Some candy for my students!"

If you've been spared from the agonizing disappointment of eating a Tootsie Pop, consider yourself lucky. Anyone with an oral fixation that's been in Korea longer than two days knows that Chupa Chups is a far superior sucker to Tootsie turd ass shit pops. About half of the carbs I eat in a day come from Chupa Chups. My tongue is in a D/s relationship with Chupa Chups. I'll suck and fuck ten Chupa Chups out of a Chinese person's vagina before I debase myself with a Tootsie Pop, which is basically a black baby dick sized piece of dog shit wrapped in fiberglass.

I would post the picture, but I can't because this retard defriended me over this sarcastic comment:

"You must hate your students to give them such shitty candy."

The Best Rimjob I Ever Gave

On The Best of Sett

Faced with a 1 year sentence to the countryside after getting dumped right before my birthday, my prospects for 2013 were not looking good. 2012 was a good year for dick and pussy in my face ( 0 dicks), but I didn't end strong. Instead, I chose to not cheat on my future ex-girlfriend. At the start of this year, I moved from the city to the country, and I decided to lower my expectations rather than my standards. Most of the people I met in town were toothless drunks, which was slightly less attractive than the local talent on OkCupid. I've used websites to hook up before- my first time using OkCupid to meet someone, it went as well as all you can eat Mexican food can get, and soon lead to my first ex-girlfriend in Korea. The experience was satisfying enough to keep me trawling for gap on the internet. And then I found some.

Her profile didn't have a picture, only a lengthy plea for lengthy dick. I empathized with her story, having lived a version of it my junior year: Long-distance open relationship, hasn't had a dick inside her for 3 months. I chatted her up about things like Haruki Murakami and two weeks later we are exchanging pictures of her vibrators and having conversations of this nature:

9:36pm, May 20, 2013, Sliz : I came so hard

9:36pm, May 20, 2013, Sliz : my pussy is still contracting

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