Ambition is my guilty pleasure

Thoughts and experiences that inspire me.


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Sharing Validates Creation

I like working on creative projects, but at times they can be so consuming and solitary, that you can lose touch with others or the outside world. Often engrossed in the project, that you loose perspective. Sometimes, I feel like I shouldn't tell or show other what I do, for fear of ridicule, criticism, or even the opposite, jealousy or anger. I find this can happen to me, and others too. It is a crippling feeling for an artist/creator. All we want to do is make something awesome, and many times, we are so far invested in it, that we can see its brilliance, so we shelve it, or put it on the back burner to linger or rot away. So, because of this, some artists/creators, toil in secret, and narrowly choose a small select group or sometimes no one at all to show their work to. This happens too often. So, I decided to try and change this. Little by little. After starting a new project, I came clean and shared it with my family and circle. I started sharing more and more, and found quite the opposite to be true. Sharing my work has been a validation of me and my talent. Of my ideas. A validation that my effort was not wasted, was not useless, trivial, or any of the like. It was only until people saw my work, and I started to get some positive responses, that I felt, I had made something true. It was through sharing my work, that I felt I could actually give my self a label of artist/creator/designer/producer, etc. what have you. Do you agree? Or should an artist only keep to a select group and stay insulated ?

With My Compliments….

On Zen Wednesday

Happy Zen Wednesday my delightful friends! This past weekend I went to the movies and after the show, I made a quick pit stop at the restroom before heading home. While standing in front of the mirror reapplying my lipstick (you know, so I’d look good…on the drive home) the woman standing next to me turns to me and says “you are just beautiful, I love your red hair”. Then she smiles warmly at me, dries her hands and exits while I stammer a dubious thank you because, of course, I am suspicious. Where the hell did that come from? I immediately wonder if she was being sarcastic, or maybe she was buzzed (this theater does serve alcohol after all), or maybe she was hitting on me! Whatever the reason behind the comment , my first reaction is to question its sincerity and handle the whole exchange with bumbling awkwardness while trying to come up with a “good” explanation for this woman’s seemingly odd behavior.

I tell my girlfriend who’s waiting for me outside about the “beautiful “comment and immediately laugh it off and question the woman’s mental state. Then I head home, driving off into the darkness wearing my expertly applied lipstick that none of the other drivers can possibly see. I shrug the whole thing off……

…until the next morning, when I wake up and replay the entire incident over in my mind.

On second thought, the woman did not seem to be acting sarcastically, nor did she seem at all intoxicated. And I remember seeing her later walking to her car holding hands with a man, presumably her boyfriend or husband, so the whole hitting on me thing was probably off. Hmmm, now that I am paying closer attention, I realize there was absolutely nothing suspect about the entire incident. In fact, now that I really think about it, I believe that woman paid me a sincere, genuine COMPLIMENT. Gasp! And now I must turn the spotlight on myself and say… what the hell is wrong with me?

Seriously, why is it that (particularly amongst us women) we can be so distrustful of other people’s praise? Why is it that when we ask “do I look good in this”? and the answer is Yes, we follow that up with “are you sure”? Or if a co-worker randomly says “You look nice today” we start to wonder, what do they mean by that? Or what’s wrong with this jacket? Particularly if it’s someone we don’t know all that well.

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