Ambition is my guilty pleasure

Thoughts and experiences that inspire me.


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Refocusing the Office Environment

So, picture this. Two different types of offices. Office A has rows of individual desks with personal and private space, lots of items, and partitions or cubicle like setups. Office B is a singular large table with multiple chairs, people of all working levels, all sharing the same materials, and not much private space at all. Which office would you say would be more efficient? More productive? Which would have higher work satisfaction?

This is what I would wager, and I would love for you to tell me your side too.

Office B.

Why? I can give your three reasons.

1. Supervision

Letting Go

On Zen Wednesday

As I get older, I am noticing that I pay a lot more attention to the quality of the relationships in my life. Time is a valuable resource, and I want to spend it being around people that inspire me, support me, challenge me, laugh with me, and are just generally positive and fun to be around. And let me tell you my friends, you are all those things and more! I am truly blessed to have some amazing people in my life.

But every once in a while, I encounter someone that I like to refer to as an Energetic Vampire. Have you ever come across people like this before? These are the type of people that when you interact with them it leaves you feeling emotionally drained, like they literally sucked a part of your life essence out of your body during the conversation. They complain, loudly and often, yet never seem to take meaningful action to improve their circumstances. They are dramatic, judgmental, and gossip in a mean-spirited way. They don’t have the skills to manage their own emotions and as a result they tend to be very reactive. Their feelings are driven by their external environment and this leads them to blame things on everyone but themselves. At their core, I think energetic vampires suffer from low self-esteem and a lack of self-love which causes them to try and pull these things from the people around them. They crave attention, and a sympathetic ear to dump their problems on (though they have no capacity to listen to the suffering of others). I could go on, but I think you get the picture.

The issue I have struggled, and continue to struggle with, is what to do when someone in your social circle crosses over to the dark side and becomes an energetic vampire. And mind you, I am not talking about a friend that is struggling because they are dealing with a tough life event such as illness, loss of a job, divorce, etc. Everyone goes through periods of suffering, grief and loss and this is when the support of loving friends is crucial to help in the healing process. No, I am talking about people that consistently interact with the world from a place of fear and lack; people that view the Universe through a negative lens and seem to find the bad or the drama in any given situation.

When dealing with people like these in the past, I have fallen into the trap of trying to guess “intentions” where I find myself saying things like “X has so much potential” or “I think their heart is in the right place” but I realize now that trying to justify my relationship with someone based on a nonexistent future state is not fair to them or to me because I am not accepting this person for who they are now. We can’t measure the value of our relationships using the yardstick of what might be; we need to view the person and situation as it actually is, in the present moment. And here’s the thing – when I do this, sometimes I realize that the friendship isn’t working anymore and I am here to tell you that IT IS OKAY TO LET IT GO. This is a hard concept to internalize, particularly for women since we have been cultured to be loyal and supportive to the end, so I will say it again… it is OKAY TO LET GO.

I know this can be a hard decision to make, and you might want to cast all kinds of moral judgments against yourself for being a bad person, but loving yourself and taking steps to surround yourself with positive loving people that raise your vibrational frequency and help you grow is never a bad choice. If someone is not bringing light and love to the table, then is that really a table you want to spend your valuable time at? If the energy flow is constantly one way, with them taking your support, attention, affirmations and giving nothing in return, is that truly friendship?

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