AMBER EYES AND OTHERS

the short and not-so-short comings of young adulthood

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Beady Blue Eyes

My whole life I dreamed of the glamour of high school. I recall flipping through my older sister’s yearbook, pointing to the homecoming queen, and saying, “I am going to be just like her.” I can assure you that prophesy never came to pass. For the first few years of high school, I kept to myself, intimidated by others’ friendships that had existed before they could say each other’s names. I was a new girl in ninth grade, and even going on into my junior year, I still hadn’t found my niche. My dreams of being crowned homecoming royalty were completely shot down when I realized I would never get asked to a dance or go on any sort of date that I, myself, wasn’t paying for.

Here’s the kicker: I never thought I was unattractive or weird. Of course, I had my quirks like everyone else, but for the most part, I believed my ugliness remained in the past and, as the entirety of junior high seemed to be, just a bad dream.

I had just gone over the hump of my senior year in high school when I met him. He was in my clothing class, and his face wasn’t a new one to me. I had seen him since I moved there in ninth grade. He hung around the people I was never friends with, and he went to parties I was never invited to. Still, he never caught my eye, and he continued to never catch my eye as we gabbed while he made ridiculously hideous pajama pants. Although he was of an average height, he seemed lurpy. His blonde hair fell like a short curtain over his forehead, and he flipped it out of his eyes about every two minutes. Beady, blue eyes peeked from underneath his blonde drapery, and even though they were small, they were somewhat pretty.

We became friends.

Somehow we got entangled in a dare. Driving down the frontage road in our friend’s car, we stood up so we were out of the sunroof from the chest up, and we kissed. It was just a joke, and I never thought it was anything more. The next time, the encouragement for a kiss came from a stranger. Beady Blue Eyes and I sat on the top of a picnic pavilion in the middle of the night. Someone drove by and chanted for us to lock lips. I never thought Beady Blue Eyes had the guts, but before I knew it, his hand was on the back of my neck, and we kissed a kiss that lasted no more than two seconds. This was a joke too, I thought. We were no more than awkward friends that had been tricked into kissing two times now, and that’s that.

"Things Left Behind"

On Wellington Street

"He met me under the gazebo, late at night, when my parents would remain completely unaware of my escape. He had the most brilliant blue eyes, and always seemed to have a smile just for me. I know this, because it is how I always saw him. We had known each other ever since I was little, had spent every day together, and were always there for one another. This made our attraction perfectly natural. But my parents didn't approve, despite the fact that they knew that he would never be able to bring himself to hurt me, had always been there when I needed him, and would continue to be there for the rest of my life.

One day, I told them that I had fallen for him, even though in my gut I knew they wouldn't understand. They told me I couldn't see him anymore, though they both knew that such a request was impossible to implement. They could not stop me from seeing him, and I think deep down they always knew that. Despite all their complaining and their warnings, I continued to spend time with him; just him and I, under the sandy colored gazebo.

One day, I was talking with him when another group of kids came upon us. They started calling me ugly and stupid. They said that I was crazy...and told me that no matter what I did no one would ever love me. I began to cry, but then he began to yell at them. He said that someone already loved me, and then he said it again, but this time directly at me. The other kids didn't seem to notice, but they walked away all the same. It was things like that which made him special to me. He always defended me, even when he didn't have to.

One day, my parents had me stay home from school. I had become very sick, and was hardly able to talk. They brought me to the doctor, and he gave me some medicine that was supposed to help. Then he asked me to leave the room so that he could talk to my parents privately. We went home, and for a entire week I was put up in bed. My friend came every day, and though my parents never approved they didn't seem to mind his presence.

One day though, he didn't come at all. I asked my parents if they could find out what happened, but they just looked at me sadly. For the entire day I waited for him to come, my anxiety growing more and more as time passed. But the hours continued to collect, and yet still I had to wait. I began to think something terrible had happened to him because I knew he would not leave my side, not willingly.

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