I am afraid of success and freedom. The fear, in a way, is controlling my life. in following my routine i have found that…
A. IT IS DOABLE. As in I am able to exist this way for what I can see as a significant chunk of time so why break or change it? Why build towards success if everything is fine right here. Nobody tells you there is an oddly comfortable waiting room in limbo.
B. I HAVE THE MIRACULOUS MAGIC OF GRAND DELUSION. In not taking the allotted steps to actually make a change in my life I have devoted my life to the thought that I have the capacity of becoming extremely successful. ordinarily this would be a positive thought to have because I have such great faith in myself, something that ABSOLUTELY helps when chasing and pursuing a dream/goal. For me the faith while traditionally speaking is great is also extremely hindering to me because it tells me that I am in that I am in no hurry to work towards my dream/ goal due to the fact that I see it is already guaranteed to me.
SO thanks to a 60 cent ornament I see that clearly I am holding myself back from doing what makes me happy and most fulfilled because I can't imagine living a life where I am not struggling.