I have on big fear in life that trumps all my other fears. That fear is the fear of having a job and being mediocre.
I don't really believe in jobs. I know that sounds weird to say, considering in order for society to function jobs need to exist, but I just feel that a lot of times, and for a lot of people, jobs are a waste of time, mental energy, and skill. Due to socio-economic factors, sometimes complex, sometimes not, a lot of people end up getting jobs they don't like, and sometimes even worse, to keep up with a life they don't enjoy.
I know a lot of people out there truly love their jobs and waking up everyday brings them great satisfaction, but ultimately for me, the lack of flexibility is just too much. Flexibility and freedom to me are the most important things in life. Being able to wake up and decide to do nothing and just watch a movie, or get on an airplane because of some amazing discount, or just go to the beach or what not is something that is extremely important to me. A job doesn't allow me to do this in most cases.
Ultimately I would like to work for myself either through starting a business, becoming a professional trader, or finding some loophole of the sort. Once I feel like I have a stronger base of the sort I would really like to venture to maybe doing something like specialty coffee, photography/travel blogging and the like. I have a huge passion for travel, languages learning, skill building, and specialty coffee/foods.
With the market in turmoil these past few days, and me not seeing it coming, and not properly taking steps to hedge against it, I have let stress effect me again. The fear of needing to have a normal job to make ends meet almost paralyzes me. Its funny because in 2012 when I wasn't making money and wasn't as ambitious to achieve my goals as this year and last year I never had any stress. Only when you feel like you have something to lose or that you might not get the closure you want does one start experiencing stress and second thoughts. Better handling my emotions, not letting impulsivity get to me, which could lead to bad trading mistakes.